A rant

I'm sorry for starting my first post of the year with this but I am too upset about what I'm reading at the comment section. Honestly I should have stayed away.

The top story of the day is certainly regarding Leeteuk family tragic event. I am upset that his father and grandparents pass away especially so when he is still enlisted and the Lunar New Year is coming. I read some of the comment about how it could have been a suicide. I was almost bought to tears. I experience suicidal thoughts not too long ago that seeing the word it self can produce a tear faster than actors could.

Another article posted conforming the actual cause made me feel gloomy. It something I can relate. I couldn't finish what I was reading because I was afraid that I might cry in public.

Unless you have experience depression and caregiving, you have no idea what it truly feels like to be in their position. I hated reading all of the assumption in the comments section. Depression isn't voluntary! It just fucked up your brain at any given time. There isn't any reasoning behind suicidal. When that thought comes, you have very little control of your mind.

I don't care SM lied. In fact I would have done the same and more. I would have shove money to the reporters to shut up. The father and grandparents aren't public figure that public has to know any of this. Give the family members time to grieve in peace.

As a caregiver, I wish I never know this. It makes me feel weak. Hope is the only thing that holds me. This take some of that hope away. Pray for me that my depression will remain in control.

I hope that what I wrote here make you think twice before passing any judgement. Please use your time with sincere prayers instead of comment section.